What does “belonging” feel like?
What does “belonging” feel like?
Maybe it’s because we’re in the midst of the holiday seasons, with US Thanksgiving in the rearview mirror, and Christmas and the like coming up fast … but I’ve been mulling over my Change Signal conversations with Hahrie Han (#46) and Helen Bevan (forthcoming in 2026). They’re both brilliant about the importance of belonging in the change experience.
Here’s Hahrie, talking about the success of a mega-church in the US that she studied:
“They recognize that the first need that people have is to feel like they're part of something bigger than themselves… that idea of belonging before belief… encapsulated 50 years of social science research in four words.”
I’m doing my best to imagine what radical belonging might look like and might feel like.
What would your answer be, for you? We have to figure this stuff out for ourselves, I think, before we can ask it of other people. Or if not “figure it out”, at least properly wrestle with the question. (My answers below.)
And here’s Helen reflecting on research about two change projects with identical tangible resources and quite different outcomes:
“The only factor they could find was the level of social connection between the people leading the change… social capital… is far more important than human capital… for large-scale change.”
Did you have “connections with other people” in your answer to “radical belonging”?
I didn’t, not directly. Indirectly, sure. I noted that I wanted to be seen, heard, and encouraged. I had a sense of both psychological safety and bravery. I wanted to dance in the paradox of having both lightness and gravity.
But I didn’t list “really great social capital”. How about you?
This stuff is hard to figure out for ourselves. When we lay down the gauntlet of helping this be true for the people going through the change, radical belonging at scale, it feels harder still.
Harder, but also, what a delight when we get it right.
