What are you pretending to ignore?

The Change Question: What are you pretending to ignore?

I journal most mornings, and one of the three questions I answer is:

What do you notice?

It’s there to invite me in to be more present to what’s actually going on.

What do I notice in front of me? The weather. The desk. The vibe.
What do I notice, somatically, about how my body’s showing up?
What do I notice about how I’m feeling about things?
What do I notice about what I’m noticing, about what’s grabbed my attention?
What do I notice about what I’m trying to ignore, that I know to be true nonetheless?

Those dagnabbit* moments

(*To be clear, I don’t actually say dagnabbit, but I’m trying to keep this Suitable for Work.)

Part of the power of journaling is a forcing function to notice what’s on the periphery. It’s happened often enough that it’s a familiar experience.

For me, it goes like this …

I’ve been feeling there’s something flitting through my consciousness, something disconcerting.

I finally turn to face whatever it is that’s been lurking there to see what it is.

I realize I’ve been trying to deny that it’s been there, hoping it might just get disappointed in my lack of attention, and go away …

It hasn’t gone away.

And, dagnabbit*, now I’m looking at it, it’s pretty clear and obvious.

I’m going to have to acknowledge it.

And I’m going to have to face the consequences of my two choices: to do something about it, or to not do something about it.

What’s in your shadows?

Here’s what’s lurked there over the years for me, things that I’ve been pretending weren’t true:

And of course, my magical thinking, aka denial, about all of the above.

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